oh carol

this post is dedicated to you, carolyn!

we had a heart-to-heart chat this afternoon and i feel a lot better now. though it was mostly about me and my feelings, i have to say it was very fulfilling. one of those more memorable phone chats. thank you thank you thank you!

we are hardly in the same situation, yet i feel like we kinda are. to me, yours is much worse, getting out of a relationship so abruptly and all. it's always tough to let go, but i think it's harder when you're undecided about letting go. good on you that you've decided to let go. take in a breath of fresh air and pre-occupy yourself with plenty of things to do. activities are just out there waiting for you. and you have my support, as always.

i've finally decided to let go too. letting go is the easy part. these few lines from the coldplay song 'fix you' hold particular meaning to me.
"and the tears come streaming down your face,
when you lose something you can't replace.
when you love someone but it goes to waste,
could it be worse?"

the past week has been agonising. i have been confused, overly-pensive and slightly miserable. but now that i've made up my mind, nothing's gonna stop me. there's plenty to do:

• plan for my bangkok trip
• send carol off (i promised you!)
• watch my free oscar-contender movies
• maybe hang out with jo (my agony sis)
• visit salvation army thrift store (i'm not too proud of this)
• exercise
• admire my action figure collection which has stopped growing for now
• call up my friends to chat (which i did for most of today).

so carol, thank you for helping me get past this. being chairperson of the free and easy club (you're free, and you're easy! haha!), i'm sure this was one of the most meaningful things you did this holiday. for that, you're my bestestEST pal! sure, you can be a bitch and smart-ass sometimes (heck, you're the most bitchy friend i have. and although we both got similar a-level results, i'm just smart. you're smart-ass. haha!!!), but you're also really sweet and nice and understanding and supportive. thank you thank you thank you again!

you're going off on thursday. i'll be there to send you off. i'm not sure when i'll be able to see you again. i'll miss you. sob.